Gray hair is sexy . . . so are sweats!

I don't know if I could have gotten past Ch2. Yuck. Good for you!

I read a book that sounds similar to this, I can't remember the name, years ago. I guess you can take advice like this with a grain of salt. I mean some of it is probably pretty good, IF the man is encouraged to do the same for his wife!! Although I've always liked seeing my husband in work clothes, especially when he was in the military.

I think maybe different marriages need different advice. I once dated a guy who said he didn't want his wife going without makeup or wearing sweats--I dumped him and married someone who was fine with it! I think women have enough weight on their shoulders that it shouldn't be their responsibility to keep their husband's eyes from roving--that's the husband's responsibility to be faithful to his wife. I may not be realistic, but I am stubborn! (I'm wearing sweats right now.)

Chris - I'm glad I went past Chapter 2, too.

Lisa - You hit on the biggest reason I had a problem with this book. It was all about what the wife "should" do - it made it sound like the health of the marriage was completely up to the wife. I'm sure the author didn't mean it that way, but that's the way it sounded.

Chain - I agree - marriages are all different. Another thing this book made me realize is how great my husband is. He loves me no matter what I wear, how much weight I gain, how many grey streaks are in my hair, etc. etc. You can tell by his comment on this post ("cire"):) I agree that wives shouldn't let themselves go, per se, but I don't think men are shallow enough to go chasing after someone else just because their wives are wearing sweats and no makeup!

I was given this book by a friend, and another by my LDS marriage and family therapist. I haven't read this book yet, and that's why your blog came up when I googled the reviews. I have read a book like this (Fascinating Womenhood), and I think this kind of approach treats the "symptoms" pretty well, and may even create harmony in the home, but for me simply not nagging doesn't work, and getting gussied up just to 'please' a man that I believe to be inferior for any reason is fake. I have to really believe that people are not [dumb, rude, irritating, trying to make me crazy, etc] before I will stop responding reactively and self definsively, and instead look to them with a soft heart and THEN go get out my hot pants and lipstick and plan dates for the man who deserves it. The book my therapist gave me has been amazing at helping me see the reasons behind why we all begin to [nag, fight, pick eachother apart, withdraw] and how it all has to do with our feeling of our attachment needs being met. Because of past (or current) damage to our love attachment bonds, we react instinctively with fight or flight when those 'raw spots' in us are triggered. The book really explores getting to the root of both the man and woman's attachment bond 'raw spot' triggers, and is the only thing I have read that makes me "love those that hurt me." I'm getting to know and respect why things bother my husband, or why he withdraws- or even why he needs to do different things (like zone out for an hour every night)- and that he's not doing 'those things' to hurt me. Whenever I see someone react bigger than the situation calls for, I understand better why now... this book actually makes me want to go hug people who are awful to me. It's so liberating to not be on the offence all the time. This book has enabled me to forgive, and taught me to love again. My husband has been very into it too- which is amazing because he hates self improvement books and marriage books etc. I can't really do it justice explaining it here, but read "Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson.