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2024 Build Your Library Reading Challenge
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The Sitting Swing: Transcending the Need to Blame
10:06 PM
Oh, the blame game. I loathe it. One of my big pet peeves is people who can't accept responsibility for their own actions, people who always have someone (or something) else to blame for their misfortunes. So, I guess it's not surprising that I spent the first half of Irene Watson's The Sitting Swing despising the author. I mean, I felt for little Irene who grew up with parents so cold and overprotective that they damaged their daughter emotionally, socially and (on occasion) physically. However, I wanted to strangle her when she made excuses like:
"This situation developed because I was a second child without a sibling to look to for example, without a parent to look to for example either, because Mom was my clear and present enemy, and Dad was around for meals and bedtime and that was about it. He wasn't any protection from the enemy, so he was, in this scenario, in the bad camp" (104-105).
Used to the stoic example of my mother, who grew up with an emotionally abusive, alcoholic father, but went on to become one of the most caring, content adults I know, I just don't buy the idea that a traumatic childhood automatically begets a miserable adulthood. Luckily, I missed Irene Watson's point completely. Her book isn't about blaming; it's about transcending the need to blame.
The Sitting Swing is Watson's story of coming to terms with her childhood, a period that left her broken-hearted and bitter. The first half of the book describes her early years in rural Canada. Living on an isolated farm in Alberta, Irene spent the majority of her time with her mother, a hard woman made even more so by the loss of her first child. Under her tutelage, Irene learned that everything she said, did or thought was wrong. Although her mother claimed to want only the best for Irene, she routinely ignored, rationalized or waved away problems Irene brought to her attention, even when they involved outright abuse. Not surprisingly, young Irene turned into an angry, rebellious young woman. Even after she married, she couldn't shake her mother's constant criticism. Years later, Irene was still so crippled by the hurts she suffered in childhood that she checked herself into a treatment center.
The second half of the book describes Avalon, and the 12-step program Irene went through there. Through the process, she learns to accept responsibility for her own reactions, stop blaming the past for her current problems, and start fulfilling her life's true purpose. Although her time at the treatment center was difficult and humiliating, it was also cathartic and illuminating. The experience allowed her to move past her childhood and become a successful author and businesswoman.
Although I found the author's story inspirational, it was told in such an odd way that I had trouble sticking with it. Her tone is conversational, making the book very readable. However, it's so casual that she tends to meander, losing focus and straying from the points she's attempting to get across. The first part of the book, in which Watson paints a portrait of her early years, is almost compulsively readable. However, once Watson comes to her marriage, the narrative stops. Before we even get a chance to know her as a newlywed, we're given a grown up Irene who's now a mother, a therapist, and a woman on the brink of divorce. She's also a woman whose turned herself in for intensive counseling because of vague childhood trauma. We see her go through Avalon and emerge as a whole, healed human being. We never really learn about her marriage, her children or her adult relationships with her parents. It's like she gives us the beginning and ending of her life story, but no middle. Without it, I felt lost, like I was missing some vital information.
My other big beef with this book is that once Watson started talking about her 12-step program, I started to lose interest. This section included very long paragraphs of dialogue from her counselors; I admit I started skimming, since all I really wanted to know was what Watson got out of the program and if it helped her patch up her life. In the end, she learns to forgive and forget, but she seems to receive no insight into what made her mother tick. Although she goes back to her childhood home and tries to get information out of an uncle, she never confronts her mother, which made the whole book seem unresolved to me. I really wanted to know what happened between her and her mother, how they related (or didn't relate) as adults and if she ever talked to her mother about the injustices she suffered as a child. Without all this, Watson's story just didn't seem complete.
All in all, I didn't love or hate this one. Some of it was engrossing, some of it wasn't. Some of it was illuminating, some of it wasn't. So, I'm ambivalent. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it.
Grade: C
If this was a movie, it would be rated: R (for language and references to sexual/adult situations, although more implied than graphic)
What's Cinderella To Do When Her Fairy Tale's Looking More Brothers Grimm Than Disney Princess?
1:30 PM
(Image from Barnes & Noble)
For some girls, moving to New York, starting over at a posh high school, and buzzing to the city to visit trendy boutiques and galleries would be a dream come true. Not so much for sophomore Lucy Morgan. Her little fairy tale seems to be coming straight from The Brothers Grimm. She's got the absent dad, the wicked stepmother, even the evil stepsisters - if she resembles any of the Disney princesses, it's Cinderella. Pre-prince.
When Melissa Kantor's If I Have A Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince? opens, Lucy is the invisible new girl at Glen Lake High School. At home, it's more of the same - when her dad's not traveling for work, he's busy nuzzling his new wife; when her 12-year-old stepsisters (whom she dubs Princess One and Princess Two) deign to speak to her, it's usually to criticize her fashion sense (or lack thereof); and Mara, her new stepmother, blames Lucy for anything and everything that goes wrong. The only place she can find solace is in the school art room, where she can forget reality and lose herself in painting.
Then, one day, everything changes. Her offhand comment about basketball grabs the attention of Connor Pearson, the hottest guy at Glen Lake High. Suddenly, the cute senior not only knows she's alive, but actually wants to go out with her. Having been acknowledged by the prince, Lucy's popularity skyrockets. Just like that, she's going out with the coolest guy around, she has girlfriends to giggle with, and rumor has it she's in the running for prom queen. So what if things are a little rocky at home? She's finally living out her princess fantasy.
The funny thing is, the more Lucy gets to know Connor, the more she realizes they have nothing in common. She's much more natural around Sam Wolff, an annoying, but incredibly talented artist. Still, Connor's the hottest thing around. Besides, she reasons, "What did Prince Charming know about Cinderella besides her shoe size?" (54). With everything else going on, being with Connor just makes her feel good. Nothing else - not her dad, who always sides with Mara; not the Princesses who can't be bothered to lift a finger; and certainly not Mara, who cares more about finding antiques than getting to know her new stepdaughter - can give her that kind of satisfaction. She's Cinderella - so why isn't she dancing and singing with mice to celebrate her bliss? Where, exactly, is her happily ever after?
If I Have A Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince? is a lighthearted Cinderella story with lots of modern twists. Unlike Disney's bubbleheaded blonde, our heroine is smart, diverse, and not always sweet as honey. She's an EveryGirl, with whom teens will immediately identify. Her story's predictable, but still manages to be interesting and fun. Although Lucy does ask herself some big questions, there's not tons of depth to this novel. It's also not quite as innocent as it sounds - there's some language and while not explicit, there are references to underrage drinking, drug use and partying (see my note below). Overall, though, it's a fast, enjoyable read that will appeal to any girl who's stuck in reality but determined to make her own happily ever after.
Grade: B
If this was a movie, it would be rated: PG (for mild language, some suggestive content, and scenes involving drinking, drugs, and partying)
Cookin' the Books: Chocolate Highlander Cookie Bars
10:19 AM
Chocolate Highlander Bar Cookies (from Strawberry Shortcake Murder by Joanne Fluke)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees, rack in middle position
1 c. softened butter (2 sticks, 1/2 lbs.)
1/2 c. powdered sugar (make sure there's no big lumps)
1/4 t. salt
2 c. flour (no need to sift)
4 beaten eggs (just whip them up with a fork)
1 c. melted butter, cooled to room temp. (2 sticks, 1/2 lbs.)
1 c. white sugar
1 t. baking powder
1/4 t. salt
1/2 c. flour (don't bother to sift)
2 1/2 c. chocolate chips (measure BEFORE they're melted)
1/3 c. powdered (confectioner's) sugar to sprinkle on top of pan.
FIRST STEP: Cream butter with 1/2 cup powdered sugar and salt. Add flour and mix well. Pat it out in a greased 9-inch by-13-inch pan with your fingers. (That's a standard cake pan.)
Bake at 350 degrees F. for 15 minutes. That makes the shortbread crust. Remove from oven. (Don't turn off oven!)
SECOND STEP: Mix eggs with melted butter and white sugar. Add baking powder, salt, and flour, and mix thoroughly. (A hand mixer will do the job if you're tired of stirring.)
Melt the chocolate chips in a small double boiler, a pan over hot water on the stove, or nuke them for 3 minutes in the microwave on high. (Be sure to stir -- chips may maintain their shape even after they're melted.)
Add the melted chocolate chips to your bowl and mix thoroughly.
Pour this mixture on top of the pan you just baked and tip the pan so it covers all of the shortbread crust. Stick it back into the oven and bake it for another 25 minutes. Then remove if from the oven and sprinkle on additional powdered sugar.
Let it cool thoroughly and cut into brownie-sized bars. You can refrigerate these, but cut them before you do. (They're pretty solid when they're cold.)
Hannah's note: Andrea said these were so rich, no one could eat more than one. (I watched her eat three at the wrap party.)
My thoughts on the recipe: Divine. I love these. The recipe was super easy to follow, and the cookie bars turned out perfectly. Halfway through making these (I'm a little slow), it occurred to me that this is basically a chocolate version of the Lovely Lemon Bars I made from Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder. Like those, the Chocolate Highlander Cookie Bars have a yummy, flaky crust; they're also sweet, but not sickenly so. I tried to take a side view of these bars so you could see what they actually look like, but the pictures were blurry (you wouldn't think it would be so difficult to snap a photo of a stationary object!) - basically, it's like eating a super-moist brownie pie. Does that make sense? Anyway, these are delicious. Love, love, love them.
Note: This recipe was used by permission.
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